🌿 Making Peace With the Parts of Ourselves We Don’t Like

Exploring envy, jealousy, greed, and the emotions we often hide

Most of us like to think of ourselves as kind, generous, and loving. But what about the parts of us that don’t fit that picture? What about when we feel jealous of someone else’s success? Or greedy for more attention? Or secretly pleased when someone who hurt us is struggling?

It’s uncomfortable to admit these feelings—even to ourselves. So we often push them into the shadow, pretending they aren’t there.

But pushing feelings away doesn’t make them disappear. It just makes them act out in less obvious but more harmful ways, like becoming critical, passive-aggressive, distant, or anxious without knowing why.

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👀 These Feelings Don’t Make You Bad. They Make You Human

Feelings like envy, greed, and jealousy are universal. Everyone has them. They show up when we want love, approval, power, or security, but feel like we’re not getting enough. These emotions are not wrong; they’re messengers.

If we can pause and listen to what they’re telling us, they often point to something important:

• “I wish I could be more seen or valued.”

• “I’m afraid of being left out.”

• “I’m scared that I’ll never have what I truly want.”

Instead of pushing those feelings away, what if we treated them with curiosity?

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🛑 The Danger of Denying the Shadow

When we don’t make space for these “unacceptable” parts of us, they don’t just disappear, they leak out sideways. Sometimes we project them onto others (we accuse others of being selfish or greedy when we’re wrestling with those feelings ourselves). Other times, we suppress so much that we become numb, depressed, or even physically ill.

The more we reject something in ourselves, the more likely we are to react strongly when we see it in others.

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💡 Real Healing Means Welcoming All Parts of Ourselves

We often think that healing means “getting rid” of certain traits. But true healing is about making room for all parts of ourselves, even the ones we were taught to hide or feel ashamed of.

Here’s a radical idea:

What if your envy is a sign that you long for something deeply meaningful?

What if your jealousy is a call to reconnect to your own sense of worth?

When we embrace our inner shadow, we gain access to our full aliveness.

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✨ A Gentle Practice

When you feel a “bad” feeling arise, try saying:

“There you are. I see you. What are you trying to show me?”

This small moment of awareness can open the door to insight, self-compassion, and change.

Ready to meet yourself with more compassion? Begin by noticing the parts you usually push away. Therapy can help you explore these hidden aspects gently and with care. If you’re curious about how to start, reach out. I’d be honored to walk with you on this path toward a more authentic you!